So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Everything about him screamed your future.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
