Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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