Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
