i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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