All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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