So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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