College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
