I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You can't just leave with hair like that
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
