Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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