can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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