no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
