I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
