Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
