I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
