I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
