he puts the penis in happiness.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
