Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
