a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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