Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize