if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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