booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
