There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
