I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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