I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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