what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
