You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
