Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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