Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
