we're making bets on your personal life
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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