I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
