Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
