so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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