Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize