I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
