ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
