Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
