I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
