Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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