I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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