i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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