I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
