What a fucking waste of an outfit
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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