Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
