But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
