A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So squirting runs in the family.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Congratulations! We have a period
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