somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
