he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
