i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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