i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
