You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize