I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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