Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
