READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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