I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
