i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize