the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
