i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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