You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
