I wannas sexs uuuuu
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
