there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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