I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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