Whod you bang
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
