Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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