Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
